Friday 24 May 2013

Pedro the Ugliest Dog in the World by Papa G

Everyone on this book review panel has their own special interest. And, true to life, these interests sometimes change. Recently Mad Scientist has been getting interested in drama. So he temporarily wants to be known as Mad Shakespeare. Party Rocker has been getting interested in the contents of the fridge. So he temporarily wants to be known as Party Food. Striker has been getting interested in cars, particularly smart, fast and expensive ones. So he temporarily wants to be known as Stig. And Flower Power has been getting interested in Roald Dahl so she temporarily wants to be known as Mathilda.
But don't worry, they still review books (badly).
The latest book to seize the imagination of the panel was Pedro, The Ugliest Dog in the World. They stumbled across the ebook online, saw it was well reviewed and decided to give it a go. They were not disappointed. By the end of the first chapter they were crying with sadness. By the end of the second they were crying with laughter. That's not a bad start for a book that costs 77p. Even Shakespeare himself couldn't have done better.
 
Pedro the Ugliest Dog in the World - 'Shakespeare himself couldn't have done better.'
Mad Shakespeare: That's blasphemy. Shakespeare was a genius. Papa G can't even spell his last name. There's no comparison. Three stars.
Party Food: What upset me was that the poor people of Santa Maria only ever got to eat freshly roasted locusts. Also three stars.
Stig: Pedro was ugly, but nice, and he trusted in other people, people who should have loved him, and then they let him down and then I felt let down, and then I felt really sad, and then I wanted to cry and then I wanted to make Pedro my pet dog and look after him and make everything better. But I couldn't. I could only cry. In fact, I'm getting upset now, just thinking about it...No other book has made me feel so sad. Five stars.
Mathilda: Waaa! Waaaa! Waaaa!
Party Food: Here, have a freshly roasted locust.
Mathilda: hphfm....
Mad Shakespeare: Is this a freshly roasted locust I see before me?
Party Food: And you.
Mad Shakespeare: hphfm....
Stig: (clearing his throat)...
Party Food: And you.
Stig: hphfm....
Party Food: Job done.
So Pedro the Ugliest Dog scores a sorrowful 4 stars and Party Food is going to be dog food, when the rest of the panel get their hands on him.